Posts Tagged ‘prayer’

h1

Decision 2012 (And I’m Not Talking About Voting for a President!)

February 6, 2012

OK,I  know it had been awhile since I posted, but my life is in a bit of turmoil.  I must make a major life decision.  I have NEVER been very good at this.  Of course my gut always tells me one thing; my heart tells me something else; my head has it’s own opinion; and of course…my friends each weigh-in with about 8 different options also!  So how do I decide?  I will have to carry this decision with me the rest of my life.  Normally, I follow my heart and let me tell you…that is always 100% the wrong choice. When I look back on all the “life decision” situations, in their entirety; I should have gone with my gut feeling from the very beginning.  Had I done this, I would not have allowed these situations to fester and become deep scars that are incapable of ever being removed or forgotten.  I then move on in my life carrying these scars from previous bad “life decisions” (i.e. BAGGAGE!)  

So here I sit again at another crossroads in my life and feeling afraid to make a bad decision; so I make no decision at all.  Yet sitting here is like watching paint dry! Nothing is being accomplished, I am not happy, and this situation just continues to fester; all because I don’t have the balls to BE ME; DO WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY; AND BE OK WITH MY DECISION!!  At 41 years old; I realize that no one can solve this problem but God.  We all know this, but how many of us actively practice this decision-making method?  I practice it when I am desperate…but in my daily life…NOPE!  I seriously need to evaluate my religious life and learn how to connect with God in a manner that operates in a 2-way manner.  Just as God tries to give and receive with me; I need to actively do the same on a daily.  Not just when I am feeling desperate.  Right now, I feel so incredibly alone–yet there is a reason for this.  So that I can seek God!  I need to pray, listen and watch.  Honestly, I have been listening and watching and some things have come to pass to show me that I am on the right path to working my way out of the predicament I am in, but the key component–PRAYER–needs to be instituted; as I know that will give me some peace, settle my anxiety; and center me as I move through this journey.      

I have come to realize that I am in this situation once again; forced to make this same decision; because I obviously didn’t learn my lesson last time and while the decision I made last time WAS the right decision.  It was made at the wrong time in the wrong manner.  What I am learning in this process? 1.) You will never be happy unless you are being your authentic self; 2.) If it is meant for you; it will be very easy to obtain; 3.) You MUST make time for yourself ; and 4.) You must make life decisions in the moment that the decision demands to be made.

I just want everyone who reads this to pray for peace, happiness and direction for me and my family as we continue on this journey.  That is all I have ever wanted…PEACE, HAPPINESS & DIRECTION (so I don’t feel alone). 

How do you make decisions…leave your comments below!

Advertisements