OK,I know it had been awhile since I posted, but my life is in a bit of turmoil. I must make a major life decision. I have NEVER been very good at this. Of course my gut always tells me one thing; my heart tells me something else; my head has it’s own opinion; and of course…my friends each weigh-in with about 8 different options also! So how do I decide? I will have to carry this decision with me the rest of my life. Normally, I follow my heart and let me tell you…that is always 100% the wrong choice. When I look back on all the “life decision” situations, in their entirety; I should have gone with my gut feeling from the very beginning. Had I done this, I would not have allowed these situations to fester and become deep scars that are incapable of ever being removed or forgotten. I then move on in my life carrying these scars from previous bad “life decisions” (i.e. BAGGAGE!)
So here I sit again at another crossroads in my life and feeling afraid to make a bad decision; so I make no decision at all. Yet sitting here is like watching paint dry! Nothing is being accomplished, I am not happy, and this situation just continues to fester; all because I don’t have the balls to BE ME; DO WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY; AND BE OK WITH MY DECISION!! At 41 years old; I realize that no one can solve this problem but God. We all know this, but how many of us actively practice this decision-making method? I practice it when I am desperate…but in my daily life…NOPE! I seriously need to evaluate my religious life and learn how to connect with God in a manner that operates in a 2-way manner. Just as God tries to give and receive with me; I need to actively do the same on a daily. Not just when I am feeling desperate. Right now, I feel so incredibly alone–yet there is a reason for this. So that I can seek God! I need to pray, listen and watch. Honestly, I have been listening and watching and some things have come to pass to show me that I am on the right path to working my way out of the predicament I am in, but the key component–PRAYER–needs to be instituted; as I know that will give me some peace, settle my anxiety; and center me as I move through this journey.
I have come to realize that I am in this situation once again; forced to make this same decision; because I obviously didn’t learn my lesson last time and while the decision I made last time WAS the right decision. It was made at the wrong time in the wrong manner. What I am learning in this process? 1.) You will never be happy unless you are being your authentic self; 2.) If it is meant for you; it will be very easy to obtain; 3.) You MUST make time for yourself ; and 4.) You must make life decisions in the moment that the decision demands to be made.
I just want everyone who reads this to pray for peace, happiness and direction for me and my family as we continue on this journey. That is all I have ever wanted…PEACE, HAPPINESS & DIRECTION (so I don’t feel alone).
How do you make decisions…leave your comments below!
